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Memes and jokes want martial law in Ukraine



The Ukrainian split of the Internet responded quite vigorously and with humor to present the fighting law in Ukraine.

Recall, the President of Ukraine Pedro Poroshenko signed the law "On the approval of the Decree of Ukraine" On the imposition of martial law in Ukraine ", and the Verkhovna Rada supports it. The document, in particular, provided that the martial law is presented for 30 days – from 14:00 on November 26 2018 to 2:00 pm December 26, 2018.

Such a system will operate in the regions of Vinnitsa, Luhansk, Mykolaiv, Odessa, Sumy, Kharkiv, Chernihiv, Donetsk, Zaporizhzhya, Kherson and the inland waters of Ukraine in the Azov-Kerch water area. Authorities decided to introduce such a system due to an incident in the Afon Kerch area – the Russian Federation's shipbuilding fired on the Armed Forces shipments of Ukraine and 24 Ukrainians were held on ships.


Kerch conflict and martial law in Ukraine – a reaction in the world


The Web criticized the decision to immediately impose martial law – some consumers argued that it should have been submitted earlier, others indicated that the fighting law had to present, but that the war had been declared, and others accused the President of attempting to interfere with the elections, he found the fourth economic incentive for such a move. One way or the other, the response was ambiguous.

Most consumers stimulated the situation and anticipated potential developments. "Vesti" collected the most popular jokes and memes.

Former Prime Minister of Ukraine Mykola Azarov has shown on his social networks webpage videos of children who dig out something.

"In connection with the martial law, psychosis and hysteria even reached children. Over 60 children of orphans were sent out of a shelter at Mariupol to digging ditches on the banks of the Azov Sea to the Poroshenko militants. boys who forced to dig ditches and ditches, and it was directed to the girls to start cleaning the area. "Trouble," wrote Nikolai Yanovich.

He was sure that the video was taken from the TV Channel Mariupol TV-7 for how pupils from the Rehabilitation Center of the Pilgrim Republic in Mariupol, led by pastor Gennady Mokhnenko, "help the city's defenders to strengthen the ditches on the coast "(according to Mokhnenko himself).

Users of social networks responded immediately to introduce martial law in their cities.

"Emergency news! In the Dnieper, the market has totally chorded. In the middle of the bazaar periphery the police and the SBU are all. n Market trading is transported to gateway trucks, and the columns are taken to areas where martial law is installed so that people are digging ditches We did not take a portal wagon only in the Chinese, which gives you tea to the marketplace. They are small and no ponta. Children in tears, old people in shock, repost urgent, "writes & Dnieper's famous blogger and member of ATO Vyacheslav Poezdnik.

It's true. Then he adds: And Facebook is like things like this. People that you posted?

"A new friend has been called autosack! Sobs and ask for help, transporting spruce, scrap and warm padding bayonet. They were told they would not be put out of bags, and it was freezing out!" , Said Dmitry Antonov.


Law martial – in Kiev, flash flash students held against the panic of Ukrainians


"We have received a red telephone call: on the new bridge, all minibuses are stopped and everyone is taken to the National Guards and who can not afford those. Take excavator ditches In schools, exactly known, everyone was taken to the community service – Watermelons plants in Illness. Hospital call was made, all pedestrians were released, and uranium pits were sent straight to the Yellow Waters. On foot. And those who can not walk are forced to sign a special piece of paper, and it is taken directly to the operating room, Having disassembled for organs for the APU. I'm still silent about Ozerka, they're collecting everyone there and took the ditches into the country without gloves, they are they had moved their roots into the National Guard yesterday and they went home with the night and took all the shoes, they also call, so all pensioners get catch them and force them to take a pig to the Ukrainian Armed Forces to feed the apartment. They say they fed them from their winter pension, and in spring, during Easter, sent them to the military registration and enrollment offices, for officers in the brawn. Students! Poor students! The women were taken straight away from couples and taken to the APU to serve the soldiers. And the boys were shot into the National Reserve. All domestic dogs are removed and for training, so that the underground tanks have learned to carry. Beasts! Even the Mayor of Filatov was banished by electors on x … th spit! They say, they say, the time is now military, you can not turn, just a little bit you can wipe it. And this is all in the Dnieper, where there is no fighting law! What's there where? "- writes Boris Mukhin of the Dnieper.

"And in Poland, our people who live in hysterics are hysterical, they were planning to go to New Year, and now they are afraid to enter the" auto drivers " , – writes Sergey Yakovenko

"Here you laugh, and my daughter went to Genichesk through an electric train, with you small, so snipers were taken to train, and the building battalion dog. They say there are no dog didgers, I have already persuaded and praying. How is it not? She always goes into the tray, still separates … "- wrote Dmitry Belotserkovets.

"A friend says to the general daughter and said the military would begin to take domestic cats back to the lack of winter dress for soldiers and set up martial law so that they could heat up the fighters in the range. Maximum Revenues" , wrote Oleg Rostovtsev.

But, above all, he was "impressed" by the post editor of the public post "Maidan. Reports" by Cyril Taller.

"Today they came to us from the military registration office and the enrollment.

– … I'm going to have?

– No. We need your hedgehogs.

– Jerzy?

– According to the presidential decree number 9338 on martial law, all animals can use the dual use of the army for the needs of the army.

– Dual Purple Hedgehogs?

– So sure. These animals have been included in the mammals register that are suitable for use in the ranks of the Armed Forces of Ukraine to strengthen the ability to protect the country. Hidden site.

– … ???

– Do not worry. The hedgehogs will be assigned to the sapper company of the 72th OMBR. This is a good team, with normal battles. Put them on the allowance …

– Why do you need hedgehogs?

– Hedgehogs will make a pool clearance in the Svetlodar coast area. The "Mayak" KB has developed and introduced mini mining detectors that can be attached to hedgehogs.

– … !!!

– Do not worry, hedgehogs will not die. Mina works, starting with 3 kg. weights, and hedgehogs, as we know, from 630 to 1100 grams. You have not recently fed hedgehogs?

– No, they even lose weight …

– Great. Let's fill in the documents that you agree to transfer voluntarily …

– I'm sorry, the Chief …

– Captain Novak.

– Sorry, Captain Novak, but nothing happens.

– Why?

– It's winter. Hedgehogs do not run in the fields in the winter. They are sleeping. And all our hedgehogs are also sleeping.

– Are you sleeping? And I hear a suspicious junk from the kitchen …

– No, this kettle is just a boil. And hedgehogs are sleeping. If you release a hedgehog in a winter field, it will find a hole and fall asleep.

– Hmm … Something at the top did not take into account … Okay. So your hedgehogs are asleep?

– Yes, in the hibernation. And three.

– I see … Thanks for … However, it does not matter. Goodbye.

Now I sit in a light combat. And say, in the National Guard by the train taken … I'll ask the repost if you have pets! "- wrote Taller


Fight law: General Staff spoke about what should not be written in social networks


Blogger Anton Hozza shared an even more scary story.

"In all BDSM-salons of Ukraine, the National Guards and the SBU raids are now being held. Harness for the needs of a league within the martial law. Rake is nothing to do," the blogger shared his knowledge.

In his comments to his post he has already published pieces of murder of the resident of Chernihiv region, who introduced a martial law, who tried to go to the next, Kiev, where there is no law of fighting.

However, the first editor of the Kuryer Uryadovy may be the victim of the first martial law, where the Martial Law's Presidential Decree was published with errors. This version was expressed by journalist Oleg Eltsov.

"By the way, do not worry, according to the decree, human rights can only be restricted in the case of a panic attack," it is written in the public of the Girondist.

"All Russians in the city of Kiev and the surrounding area are prescribed to be collected on Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 8am.m. in the morning Melnik-Dokterivskaya street (near the cemetery ) Everyone should take them with documents, money, underwear, etc. "- they joked at the public meeting of" Qiang Martial Law ".

"We need to buy salt, sugar games. I'll be salt, sugar and fire" – write in the same place.

"By decree President of Ukraine Poroshenko Petr Alekseevich, approved the possibility of seizure of houses that you have rented for the New Year," writes the Nitsche Public Festive.

Many social network users discuss online and the situation in the Azov Sea.

"The Azov Sea was subsidized" – said Sergey Salivon.

"In any unacceptable situation, impose a martial law in Vinnitsa," said Alexander Vasilyev

"Facebook will now replace its fight shapes when fighting inflatable mattresses," says blogger Oleg Cherny.

"In order to strengthen the fleet, Bogdan's concern will establish the release of mobile buses," said Vsevolod Doroshenko.


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