The day my sister Amelia started in hospital, fearing that she was going to die, she started like anyone else. The alarm went off at 6.30am and, after boring breakfast, ran out of the door to get to work by 8am.
At the age of 32 at the time and assistant music teacher at a US university, her ten-hour teaching day did not include a lunch break – instead she was fully reviewed for her doctoral exam.
After a takeaway dinner, concert exercises with a night and a short conversation with her husband for their weekend holiday with three teenage children, he fell from the end to the end. bed, tired and clean. Lying in the dark, her mind was turning. And two hours into his sleeping pill fall, Amelia provoked in unusual pain. Rough thieves of anxiety pierced her abdomen, leaving her breath and panic.
Twins The twins of Emily and Amelia Nagoski, pictured, are exactly the same, but Emily, on the left, has never spent a day in hospital, while her sister Amelia, on the right, has been worried by health problems
It was rushed to the hospital where doctors found that its white white cell count was five times higher than it should be – a sign that the immune system was under incredible stress. She was in hospital for four days. But he revealed no further tests and was sent home.
Yet a year later, he was back in hospital, this time with a catalog of disorders including back pain, asthma, severe depression and sudden bursts of acute apenditis.
I am identical twins with Amelia and I am always a picture of health. At the age of 41, I have never been in hospital. So why was Amelia's body broken and mint mine? As a health educator and biologist, with decades of scientific research, I think that I have the answer.
It lies in a phenomenon of the name 'burnout'; affecting half a million Britons every year with victims mainly women and 40 per cent more likely to suffer, not because of any underlying biological differences between the genders but because of the way that the roles of men and women are society t has evolved.
Fatigue spoils the immune system
There was a waterfall; Amelia's harmful work due to an emotional workload she was dealing with after a day
Apart from the sense of helplessness, the physical repercussions of a burn can be disastrous. Releasing more stress hormones leads to chronic high blood pressure, putting excessive stress on the heart. The operation of an immune system, tissue repair and digestive system are all 'stopped', increasing the risk of fatal infections.
My belief is that 'waterfall'; Amelia harmful was derived from the emotional workload he was handling day after day.
Our research revealed that burning is not associated with an increased risk of psychiatric disorders – such as anxiety and depression – but this may be the reason why thousands of women in hospital with physical problems range from chronic pain and illness. digestive problems to infertility and migraine. He could even dispose of dangerous infections such as meningitis in advance to victims – as he did with Amelia.
Burnout reduces the immune system, allowing infections that would normally be ruled out to thrive.
A Dutch study found that those with a burn were up to four times more likely to have gastroenteritis – an inflammatory gut because of bacterial or viral infection.
You're stuck in a non-stop stress cycle
Do you have human donor syndrome?
One of the main factors behind the epidemic in a female burn is the curse of Dynol Human Driver Syndrome ’. The distress, which millions of women suffered, is rooted in the belief that a person must prioritize the needs of others and protect them from negative emotions. If you answered 'yes'; to two or more of these questions, you might be suffering, too… t
1. Do you think you have a moral obligation to your partner, family or world to be happy, quiet, generous and attentive to others?
2. Do you think failure to put others first makes you a failure as a person?
3. Do you feel guilty about showing ambition?
4. Do you consider confident women to be 'bossy'?
5. Do you usually see all of the above?
Burning occurs when the body and the brain are in a biological condition for a long time, as in the case of Amelia.
The purpose of the brain stress center is to equip us with the physiological equipment to escape or fight when faced with the threat of death. Normally, the body performs this function perfectly well.
The problem is that such an extreme response is driven by what we see as a threat. From thousands of years ago, these were indeed a threat to life (a hungry lion, for example), but now a perceived threat is more likely to be an angry boss, or a bill mountain. Our body jumps to the same physical reaction. The hormone adrenaline pushes blood into our muscles and vital organs, allowing us to run faster and fight fiercely. Endorphins are released to reduce the sensitivity of blood pain and rushes to our brain, making us alert and vigilant. Non-priority systems – immunity, digestion and reproduction – are prevented.
The human body was designed to operate only in this temporary state. In the past, by escaping the lion, we took a break from relief, thanks to being alive. The natural stress cycle was completed.
But what happens when the lion reappears every morning in your office? We get stuck, mid circle. The body and the brain remain locked in a state of terror. Day to day.
Girls put others ahead of their own
The main difference between Amelia and me – and a key factor behind her – lies in what I call her human donor syndrome 'where someone continues to give to others (in terms of time, emotional support and care) but expect nothing back. As a result, they are stuck in the middle of the stress cycle, both physically and emotionally, before they burn out of steam, resulting in cascading physical effects.
According to Emily, in the picture, the main difference between her and her sister is that of Amelia 's human donor syndrome; and that he will continue to give to others without expecting anything back.
Our research found that thousands of women have suffered this illness, believing they have to keep their own negative emotions in an attempt to improve the lives of others.
It happens because girls are always raised to be calm, attentive and ready to help others, but boys are not so obvious. Recent Canadian research found that women's tendency to allow others to draw attention leads to the loss of disastrous job opportunities and physical consequences – including heart disease and immune problems.
From a young age, Amelia – like most women – was for the sake of people, hiding her anger or distress to stop others feeling upset. I was considered different from other women because of my dissatisfaction to fit in. Strangely, the unique features that made me feel strange as a young person, can save my life at some point.
Sometimes we have to look after ourselves
Nobody has an unbiased ability to care for others, without having a detrimental effect on their well-being.
When we are experiencing stress on behalf of others, we disregard it as 'unreasonable'; and unlikely to give us the time to deal with the emotional collapse.
According to Emily, after, half of all doctors and nurses are suffering from tiredness of compassion;
This creates too much stress in brain emotion centers that reduce empathy, something psychologists call their compassionate fatigue ', a precursor to burning.
Studies suggest that half of all nurses and doctors show compassionate fatigue and those affected have more alcoholism, drug dependency, headaches and high blood pressure.
For Amelia, the emotional turmoil of her teenage children as well as caring for sick relatives and friends sent her to a twist of mental distress.
Women simmer with unpleasant anger
In psychology, there is a recognized syndrome of the complex daughter 's complex name'. Just as women are raised to put others first, they are told to be nice and happy, too.
Research shows that women are more skilled at recognizing other emotions but worse than men when expressing the negative ones.
Men, on the other hand, are much more likely than women to respond to anger with anger or aggression. This puts women at a disadvantage as angry explosions act as a quick and effective way of completing the stress cycle.
Instead, many women walk around with decades of incomplete stress response cycles simmering in our chemistry.
Emily and Amelia, pictured, have written a book about their experiences
We need more sleep but we can't put it off
Scientists know that between six and eight hours of sleep a night is key for a healthy immune function, metabolism, memory, inflammation and cell repair.
But women are 50 per cent more likely than men to suffer insomnia and have 20 per cent higher risk of sleep disorders.
After years of practicing activities such as meditation, exercise and time away from work, Amelia has seen her physical health improve. She is healthier, healthier and happier than she was in her 20s.
Use our science-based tricks that helped her and you could be, too.
- Burnout: The Secret To Solving The Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski (Vermilion, £ 16.99).
How to beat the burner epidemic
Do exercises … in your BED
The most efficient way to complete the stress response cycle is physical activity. Anything that moves your body will be enough to encourage you to breathe deeply for about 20 minutes.
Try to sit in a chair, or in bed, and treat your muscles all over again for 20 seconds, then shake it out with a large breathing pipe.
Talk to other commuters
People use their social connections with others to regulate emotions, and this does not apply to friends, colleagues and family but strangers too. Studies show that people who have had a casual conversation with other train passengers feel happier and healthier throughout the day, compared to quiet commuters.
Watch a filmmaker who is tearing a film
Looking at the characters in a schmaltzy movie experience helps your brain and your body to process them too. One study by psychologists at the University of South Florida evaluated 3,000 crying periods and found more satisfaction in 60 to 70 per cent of people after they threw tears.
Daydream … every two hours
The brain doesn't switch off; during the dreaming. In fact, the network's default mode performs important tasks including processing the day's events and planning for the future. The ongoing activation of this network improves cognitive performance, creativity and overall happiness. Change your mind from a specific task to a dreaming activity, including playing games on your phone, every two hours.
Cooking or shopping, every day
Studies show that spending time eating, preparing or shopping for food can have a reflective effect on the brain, relaxing the body. It also serves linking the body with the mind, drawing attention from bitter, distressed thoughts.
July … 42 per cent of the time
Research shows that spending 42 per cent of your rest time ensures the best functioning of immune, digestive and hormonal systems. That is about ten hours out of every 24. It sounds a lot, but daily tasks, daily are included; physical activity, reducing the stress of chatting and taking a bath, for example.
Kiss .. for six seconds and hey about 20
John Gottman, a psychologist from the United States, tells us that the most powerful kiss lasts for six seconds. This is the perfect amount of intimacy to show to the body that you are safe and with someone you love. And you need at least 20 seconds of hugging to lower blood pressure, heart rate, and increase the release of happy hormones.
Feeling someone for 20 seconds can lower blood pressure, heart rate and increase the release of hormones & happiness;